Ding Dong Bells - An Avon Christmas

Dashing through the snow
Delivering Avon books
Sliding as I go
Over frozen brooks
Bells on door posts ring
People turn on lights
I am burning calories
On this frozen night

Ding dong bells
Ding dong bells
Avon calling soon
The sky is clear
As clear as day
I can see the moon

OH

Ding dong bells
Ding dong bells
Avon calling here
Order all your brilliant gifts
VAT’s going up next year

A day or two ago

I took some brochures out

Slipped on the black ice

How I did shout

People opened doors

And came to have a look

So I took a great big chance

And gave them all a book

Ding dong bells

Ding dong bells

Avon calling soon

The sky is clear

As clear as day

I can see the moon

OH

Ding dong bells

Ding dong bells

Avon calling here

Order all your brilliant gifts

VAT's going up next year

Written by me 30th Nov 2010 - just getting into the Christmas spirit!

My Avon Things - an ode to Avon

Creams in the cupboard

And gels in the shower

Avon cosmetics gives

Each girl some power

Make up in drawers and

Necklace and rings

These are a few of my Avon things

PJs in wardrobe

And soap on the white sink

Fragrance and powders

Which give out a nice stink

Splash on for our blokes;

They smell just like kings

These are a few of my Avon things

Lotions for wrinkles

And shampoo for all hair

Of course we look great

People just stop and stare

Toys for our kiddies

Lots of shining bling

These are a few of my Avon things

When the crunch bites

When the bills sting

When things are getting bad

We all take our brochures and put them through doors

We cannot be quite so sad

Written by me 9/9/10

The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And I sat in the pub
Waiting and hoping
I was getting nice grub
I ordered the turkey
and those brussels sprouts
But there came from the kitchen
One terrific shout

Everyone run
and everyone hide
We've found a mouse
Fortunately it died
But not before he'd ran
Into the cavity
Of the poor turkey
Oh what a travesty

So sitting in the pub
That eventful eve
All I could do
Was sit there and grieve
And ponder inside
Of what could have been
Of that turkey dinner
So yum and supreme

OK not brilliant, but had to write something today (22/8/10)

Raindrops on Roses? - You Must be Joking

I wrote this poem today (21/8/10) This is going to be added to my latest collection of poems!



Fleas on the moggies and spiders in the bath,

Come on now nature you're just having a laugh,

Wasps in the honey and bugs in the sink,

Sometimes things natural really do stink!



Mice in the cupboards and rats above ceiling,

My skin is crawling, that's just how I'm feeling,

Weevils in flour and lice in my hair,

Life can be so gross, it just isn't fair. (Hope there's no lice in my hair :| )



Moths on the curtains and slugs in the garden

Where is the mouse trap? Oh do beg my pardon

Roaches on kitchen floor, dead birds in tank

The water is green now and smelling so rank



When the fleas bite, when the wasps sting

And everything is bad

I simply keep scratching and scraping myself

And now I am feeling mad!

Feminine Oppression

If I wore a burka
You wouldn't see my toes
If I wore a niqaj
You wouldn't see my nose

If I wore a hijab
You wouldn't see my hair
If I wore dark glasses
You really wouldn't care

I could be invisible
Be a peeking tom
Or if I was adventurous
Wear an atom bomb

Burka, Niqaj, Hijab clothes
Signs of feminine oppression
Symbols of women slaves in chains;
Of husband's sad possession

If I wore a mini skirt
You'd see more than my toes
If I wore a jewelled stud
It could be through my nose

If I did a Britney
I'd shave off all my hair
If I wore contacts
Would you really care?

I could stand out in the crowd
Be a drama queen,
Get drunk on a Saturday night
You know what I mean?

Mini skirts and skimpy tops
Lots of material possessions;
Greed and lust and gluttony,
Different oppressions

The World's Bullies

Why do our governments give in
To people who want us dead?
They want to blow us up
Or chop off our heads

They claim all our benefits
They claim we are unfair
And yet they do what they want
As if we are not there

They want their own schools
Their own laws and statutes too
And one day they will get it
Our ministers are too weak
To say NO!

They are the playground bullies
In this world of degradation
They want the world to be
Their very own nation

Poetry Reading

I have a poetry reading session on 12th April 2010 in S Wales! :) OK OK it's my mum's ladies' group - but I have to start somewhere...